Lưu trữ Blog

Được tạo bởi Blogger.

Thứ Năm, 12 tháng 8, 2010

1. General impression: I was overwhelmed with the crowd at first. Even though I remember missing two-lane streets full of red and yellow lights, missing the mere sight of human faces, I was quite shocked with Hanoi's overpopulation. I can still recall hearing 2 Western guys yelling excitedly: "People! Look at all these people!" in Hongkong airport when they saw an extremely crowded space for the first time. I thought they were rude. But now I understand a little. I did ask myself: "how can there be so many people?" a few times, too.

Heat doesn't bother me as much as dust. I don't really want to go out because streets look like they are covered with dew. Every breath is another handful of dust. The air is heavy with all the dust floating. But at least it rains.

I have been uncomfortable at times when people get too close physically. It seems like either I've forgotten that Vietnamese people touch each other when they talk or I've been too distant from others for so long. The limit of personal space varies from culture to culture. Im not sure if I felt the same way before, but many times I have to refrain myself from backing off from the other person. Despite general belief that Eastern culture are strict in maintaining physical boundary, I find myself much closer to others here than in Canada.

I was very much prepared for people's reaction. So, with questions such as: "Do you find things strange here compared to Canada?", "Do you have a Canadian boyfriend?", "Do you plan to work there?", "Do you think Hanoi is too bad?", "What do you eat over there?" being repeated again and again, together with comments about my appearance, I just patiently smile and give a neutral response. Unlike myself 2 years ago, who was pretty annoyed with answering same questions, either Im getting better at ignoring annoyingly curious inquiries or people are indeed not curious about my life abroad anymore.

2. A place at home: I was surprised with myself that I have forgotten I have a big, bright, beautiful and meticulously decorated room. Two years living in small and temporary rooms have destructed my memory of a room completely mine. I was happy to find my own place still the same, not entirely, but with some acceptable minor changes. I clean, rearrange stuffs, change a few things here and there. After my laptop, my room is my second most personal belonging. I can't help feeling that my room forever keeps the image of my 15 year-old self. I got it when I was 10, and never really finish decorating the place. It contains small pieces of my most loving memories. I can just lie down and look at pictures on the wall, souvenirs in the closet, books on the shelf and CDs underneath and daydream for hours. I remember almost who gave me what on what occasions. It was like 2 year in Canada was just a fleeting moment, something has never existed, and only those memories kept in this room are real, only the self that I find spanned throughout those years when they were collected is real.

At dinner table, my aunt retold how a fortune teller predicted that I would move around lots and lots, and that I won't have a stable place on my own. That sounds promising, because it's exactly the way I want to live. Anyway, upon hearing that, I jokingly asked my brother if he would save me a small corner in his future house, so that I won't have to be homeless after returning from my continuous journey. Before he could say anything, my dad replied: "You know your mom and I always save a place for you, no matter what. You'll always find your place home."
I didn't know what to say. I know from my heart, but hearing it out loud makes me so happy.

3. Family is where you don't have to ask for a favour: I thought that one night when I was reflecting on how everyone just goes ahead and does things for me. At home, not only I don't have to do housework, but my most personal tasks are often carried out by someone else. My grandpa fixed my jeans for me, my aunt flattened a pillow and my cousin took charge of the laptop. No one makes me feel like I owe them a favour. No one waits for me to ask them. Like my cousin told me to give him my laptop, my aunt asked me if the pillow was alright and my grandpa fixed everything within his reach. Mom gives me money before I ask her. Probably that's why I hate bothering people, since I grow up in a home that Im given everything I want and need even before I recognize it myself. People's reluctance to help bothers me a lot, and Im willing to go through troubles to avoid asking for favour, because here, I have always been a receiver without consciously being aware. I know well that it's always been the way Im treated at home, rather than due to the fact that I've been away from home for 2 years. I mean, no matter if I have left home or not, Im still a spoiled kid in my family.

4. Luxury: To have someone pick me up and drop me at the door, even though they live by the other end of the city, is a luxury. To be able to call someone I miss whenever I please, is a luxury. To have a friend drop by unexpectedly, is a luxury. To be asked what I like to eat, and have a delicious meal ready when Im hungry, is a luxury. To curl up besides my mom while she caresses my hands and tell her about my friends, is a luxury. To hold my niece in my arms, feeling her weight, look into her eyes, laugh with her, is a luxury. To lie by my brother's side, giggle with him, whisper with my sister is a luxury. I can go on and on and on, but all those simple things that make up a normal day, are things that I have totally missed for so long, and things that only a place called "Home" can afford.
And friends, though I haven't met many of them, I have seen the most important. And each of them, as always and forever, has a way to make me feel Im loved. Like when my hair is brushed, my feet are wiped off dirt and my shoes are re-tied.
As if two year is just a dream
As if there has never been a slight distance between us.
As if we have always been in each other's life, day by day, night by night, and today we just continue a song of love and friendship we were composing yesterday.

0 nhận xét:

Đăng nhận xét